Tips for responding to online dating messages
Sure, it’s a pain to actually read through profiles and send unique messages to each person, but aren’t you here to find a date?
Learn a little something about the person you’re messaging, and reference that in your communiqué.
There are lots of reasons why someone may sign into OK Cupid, check their messages, and not message you back. Or, they might be checking their inbox quickly, and will respond later. But the quickest way to get yourself classified as a psycho is to message someone more than once without getting a reply. Repeat messaging says, “I am a creep with boundary issues.” And sure, there’s someone out there for everyone, but you will widen your dating pool by not being a creep with boundary issues.
Yes, we’re all animals here and yes, dating is initially about physical attraction, but there has to be something more to make a relationship (or even a not-totally-painful date) work out.
Oh and just to be clear: Commenting on how a woman could be your Nubian queen or your sweet Oriental flower is not substantive.
Even if you do have a creepy racial fetish, announcing it will do you zero favors (although if you do have a creepy racial fetish, maybe deal with that through pornography and therapy, and don’t bring real live human beings into it?
This is how to send a semi-decent online dating message in nine easy steps.
We can tell when your message is copied and pasted to multiple people.
So respond to what’s in their profile and ask a question or two. ___If you've got your own online dating horror stories, drop them below, or submit them anonymously.
Are you tired of not getting responses to the messages you send on online dating sites and apps?
The beauty of internet dating is that we all get to specify what we want.
Respect that and don’t waste anyone’s time – including your own.